


All The Little Pieces

by raendown



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, The Ending They All Deserved, Watch Me Fix All The Broken People
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 10:31:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12769155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raendown/pseuds/raendown
Summary: Sometimes you have to break before you can be put back together. And sometimes you need a little help with both.





	All The Little Pieces

“My life is a really great joke that I would absolutely laugh at if I weren’t so afraid I might cry right now.”

After a rough translation, Kakashi was at least mostly sure that was the gist of what the woman beside him was trying to say. It was hard to tell through the slurring of her words, syllables bleeding and running together like the alcohol dripping down between her fingers. Sakura didn’t even seem to register that she had spilled her drink.

“Kakashi do me a favor and laugh for me, would you? If I try right now I might throw up.”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather I fetched you a nice tall glass of water?” he replied. “Very refreshing. Very sobering.”

“Pah, who wants to be sober?!”

“I think I prefer you when you’re sober.”

“Well I have a husband who would prefer me when I’m not there entirely so who gives a fuck about anything?”

Both of them sighed for different reasons. Kakashi gave some thought to trying to sneak the bottle of shochu farther away from her elbow, inch by inch, until he could hide it somewhere. In the end he decided it wasn’t worth the risk of losing several fingers. Absolutely three sheets to the wind she might be but Sakura was still the heir of the sannin Tsunade, equipped with all the skills and talents that position implied.

Instead he leaned back in his seat and observed her from head to toe and back up again. What he saw was a women who had been bowed by the life she had chosen. Her shoulders hunched, her head hung low, hair falling in limp disarray without the usual headband to keep it in place. Alcohol coated her hand from the many drinks she had spilled with her trembling fingers and dotted the stylish trousers which had been a pristine white upon her arrival.

“I take it you read the latest correspondence from Sasuke?” he ventured. Sakura snorted.

“Correspondence!” A wave of her hand sloshed clear liquid at him that he only barely managed to dodge. “He can take the time to report to his Hokage but not to send a letter to his wife or child. A child! Kakashi we have a bloody _child_ together and he still can’t be arsed to so much as send a quick _hey hope neither one of you is dead_!”

“Hm.” Kakashi didn’t offer much in the absent man’s defense. There was, in fact, no defense to give. He happened to agree with her that Sasuke’s behavior was pretty unacceptable for a man who claimed to want nothing more than the resurrection of his clan.

“Do you know…do you know that I am twenty-four years old, I have been married for five years, I have a four year old daughter, and I have never been kissed.”

The sip of soda water he’d been taking choked in his throat and sprayed all over the bar when Kakashi spit it back out in shock. “I’m sorry,” he coughed. “What!?”

“Yeah! I know!” Sakura slammed her glass down on the bar top hard enough for a crack to appear. “We made a fucking baby together but he’s never so much as laid a single peck on these lips. What am I doing _wrong_ , Kakashi? Should I have been quieter? Tried harder to follow him on his stupid quest? Mailed him nudes? What!?”

“Sakura I don’t think it’s anything you could have fixed on your own.” Kakashi was rather impressed that his voice remained so steady. He was still reeling from the idea that two people could get married and have a kid but not kiss even once. Actually, now that he thought about it, he’d been to their wedding and he distinctly remembered thinking it odd that the ceremony had not ended with a kiss.

“Well it’s not as if _he’s_ putting in any effort. He’d have to be here to do that.” Sakura’s voice cracked and when she looked over at him her eyes were just as broken. “Sarada asked me the other day why her daddy doesn’t love her enough to come home. What am I supposed to say to that?”

“Oh Sakura…”

“Right? Poor Sakura who got everything she ever wanted! Poor Sakura who’s living the dream life! This dream sucks!”

With one more slam of her fist the glass that she’s been holding shattered between her fingers. Sakura cried out in surprise and Kakashi’s body twitched at the noise, setting off his flight instincts. It was a miracle he managed to stay still in his seat. He was exasperated to see Sakura opening her hand with nothing more than an annoyed sigh, green chakra already glowing as she began to heal herself.

“We should get you home,” he decided. She didn’t offer much of a fight.

As it turned out, Sakura was so drunk she could barely stand and Kakashi ended up escorting her home. Little Sarada was apparently staying over at Auntie Karui’s place tonight to play with Chōchō, which he was grateful for. It wouldn’t be the best thing for someone that young to have to see her mother in such a state, nor for Sakura to be woken up by a hyper four-year-old the next morning.

For most of the journey home both of them remained silent. Sakura appeared to have run out of steam and was losing energy with each step closer to her bed. Kakashi didn’t really know what to say. He knew she wouldn’t appreciate empty platitudes but there was very little positive that he could say about her situation. It was shitty and there was no sugar-coating that. She already hit the nail on the head herself with her earlier words: she’d gotten everything she ever dreamed of all throughout her childhood. It was hardly her fault that those dreams didn’t turn out quite the way she expected, although a part of Kakashi wondered what exactly she had expected from someone like Uchiha Sasuke.

Better than this, apparently.

It was as they were climbing the steps to her front door that Sakura finally let out a wounded noise and Kakashi looked over to find tears streaming down her face. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen her cry. After the fourth war was finally over it was as though she had used them all up. Yet now she had her head tilted back to look up at the empty sky, tears trickling down her temples to soak in to her messy pink hair.

“All I ever wanted was for someone to love me, for someone to _see_ me. When he proposed I thought that Sasuke saw me and I was so…so happy.” A hiccup bubbled up and out but she kept talking without missing a beat. “It wasn’t correspondence he sent, Kakashi. It was divorce papers. He found someone that he truly sees and it isn’t me. It’s never me.”

There wasn’t much he could say to that.

“I’m sorry Sakura,” he said, because he was. He was sorry she had to go through so much pain. Without looking back down from the stars, she shrugged awkwardly.

“Yeah. So am I.”

“Someday I hope you can find a way to move on. When you do you will find that there are many more people who see you than you realize, people who see you and who _love_ you just the way you are.”

An inelegant snort escaped her and Sakura shook her head but said nothing. Kakashi let her unwind herself from his hold and stagger across the porch to her front door. When she struggled with her keys he stepped forward to help but neither of them said anything else. Sakura disappeared inside her house and Kakashi turned away, hands in pockets, to go back to the bar they had just left. It had been his intention to have a quiet evening to himself with no responsibilities and no worries. Since that plan had gone out the window the moment Sakura walked in and demanded an entire bottle of shochu to herself, he might as well go get drunk too. It just seemed like that kind of night now.

 

-

 

It took a while for Sarada to understand that her father had a new family he wanted to build. It took even longer for her to stop feeling like it was somehow her own fault for not being a good enough daughter. Strangely, it was the Rokudaime who helped her out with this the most.

The other children in Sarada’s age group were all extremely jealous that she seemed to be a favorite of their village leader. Honestly she wasn’t even sure why she had been chosen. What was so special about her? When she found out that her mom had been his student for one whole year a way long time ago she’d thought maybe that was why he liked her. But then, why didn’t he hang out with Boruto too? That burrito-head’s dad had also been a student of the Rokudaime and _he_ didn’t get to sit in the Hokage’s office eating ice cream and doodling on official reports.

Perhaps her favorite days were the ones when Kakashi – as he had insisted she call him – would ask for her help creating a distraction so that he could sneak out and play hooky for the day. They always met up again somewhere else and Kakashi would let her ride on his shoulders as they toured the marketplace looking for a pretty trinket she could take home to her mama. On those days Sarada forgot that her father didn’t love her enough to come home. On those days Sarada forgot to wonder if perhaps she wasn’t good enough. Because on those days she had all she needed in a kind man who loved her and bought her red bean cakes and thought the entire world of her. It was, she decided, even better than having a father. Kakashi had no reason to love her but he did it anyway.

Of course, there were downsides to being left behind that affected more than just her. It hurt Sarada to watch her mother be so sad in those moments when she thought her daughter wasn’t looking. There were times Sarada would peek her head around the corner to find Sakura staring quietly out the window, eyes scanning the horizon as though expecting to see something that wasn’t there, and each time the expression on her face was more and more resigned.

It took a long time for Sakura’s smile to reach her eyes again but Sarada would always remember the day it happened. As soon as class had let out at the Academy she had run straight to the Hokage Tower, up to the top floor, and scrambled in to Kakashi’s lap to bury her face in the chest of his robes. The man he’d been in a meeting with had faltered in his speech, probably surprised to see her there. Kakashi, on the other hand, had wrapped one arm around her automatically even while his other hand continued to take notes without pause.

“Maa, you think that will affect the prices? We have a contract with them at set prices until the end of the year. If they’re going to raise their fees at that point then we should start looking for other suppliers now. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”

“Of course, Hokage-sama.” Sarada couldn’t see the man bowing with her face pressed in to clean white robes but she did hear the rustle of his clothing and an appropriate amount of pause before he spoke again. “Please excuse me.”

Kakashi waved him off with a dismissive hum. The door closed on retreating footsteps, leaving the room quiet but for the swishing sound of Kakashi’s brush as he continued to take notes. Sarada hardly expected him to drop everything to tend to her. She had long learned that there had to be a proper balance between caring for one’s precious people and tending to one’s duties; she had learned to be patient while Kakashi finished being the Hokage so that he could be her friend instead.

Luckily it seemed he only needed barely more than a minute. The brush made a muted click when it was set down on the desk and then a large hand was stroking at her hair in a comforting gesture which never failed to make the world fall away.

“What’s wrong, Princess?”

“Inojin was making fun of my glasses again today. He’s so mean!”

“Oh, was he now?” The hand on her head moved to pat her on the back of her shoulder, a signal for her to look up at him. When she did his was wearing a very serious expression. “Do I need to erase him from this existence? Just say the word Princess.” Sarada giggled.

“Yes please!” she replied sweetly. Kakashi turned his eyes up in a happy smile.

“Anything for you!”

She knew he didn’t mean it, of course. Kakashi loved each and every one of his subjects, would give his life for any of them in an instant. He would hardly order the death of such a promising member of the next generation just because of silly childhood bickering. Still, his little game did make her smile.

“Hm, looks like it’s about time for me to take a break, wouldn’t you say?”

“Oh yes, _Hokage-sama_ ,” Sarada replied, adjusting her glasses in an important manner. “Breaks are important!”

“Then it seems to me that I would be remiss in my gentlemanly duties if I didn’t walk you home.”

Since that was exactly what she’d been hoping for when she came here, Sarada couldn’t stop herself from burrowing in to his chest again for one more good hug. Kakashi welcomed her easily and hugged back just tight enough to make her squirm and beg for mercy. Then he released her with a laugh and let her lead him out of the office, holding her hand and listening to her recount the scene in which Inojin had insulted her glasses.

Halfway home Kakashi swept Sarada up on to his shoulders and held her legs as she continued to chat. At six years old she thought she might be getting a little big for this but not in a million years would she be the one to suggest it. So long as he was willing to keep carrying her around, Sarada was happy to keep her rightful place as for as long as he would let her.

When they turned up the walkway to her home Sarada and Kakashi were both laughing at his terrible attempt as a joke. Her head was thrown back and her hands clutched at his forehead to keep her balance. Kakashi clung tightly to her feet and hunched forward a little under the weight of his laughter, threatening to send them both toppling to the ground. Neither of them noticed at first when Sakura opened the front door to greet them and stopped, spellbound by the sight they made.

Kakashi was the first to look up, attempting to straighten and wobbling dangerously before managing to do so. He shot her a bright smile and dared to release one of Sarada’s legs so he could wave.

“I found this stray cat wandering around in the tower,” he called up. “Can I keep her? Pleeeaaase?”

“Kakashi!” Sarada exclaimed. “I’m not a cat!”

“Maa, you’re right of course. More like a teeny little kitten.”

“Hey!”

One hand covering her mouth, Sakura took a deep shuddering breath in as she observed how happy her daughter was interacting with the man who carried her. It wasn’t as though she had been blind to their growing friendship but for the last couple of years Sakura felt as though she had existed with a thick fog wrapped around her. The colors of the world were muted and dull. Any small joy she found was quiet and distant.

Now suddenly it was as though the fog had rolled back and she realized that while she had been treading in place, life had moved on around her. Her baby girl was _happy_. And if she could be happy then so could Sakura.

“Mama! Tell Kakashi that I’m not a kitten!”

Sakura shook away the stupor which had fallen over her and looked down at the pair a few steps below her. Kakashi was giving her his best puppy eyes and Sarada was trying her utmost to do the same, though with less practice hers were slightly less effective. Unable to stop it, Sakura burst in to laughter.

On the walkway below, both Sarada and Kakashi stared up at her in awe. Sarada couldn’t help thinking that in that moment her mother had never been more beautiful. Such a smile! She hadn’t seen a smile like that in years and the relief of seeing it again very nearly pulled the breath right out of her chest. It was as though suddenly she was a whole new woman again.

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Sakura called down at last. “Your claws aren’t really big enough yet to call you a cat. Kitten sounds pretty accurate to me!”

Sarada was caught halfway between joy at seeing her mama so happy at long last and screeching in indignation. She was _not_ a kitten!

For his part, Kakashi simply continued to smile. Their Sakura was finally coming back to life. He could ask for nothing more than that.

 

-

 

Three years, depending on the perspective, could seem like an eternity or like the blink of an eye. For her it was both. It had been three years since Sakura had received a request for divorce through the mail from a man who couldn’t be bothered to come home more than once the entire time they had been married. Even she understood by now that asking him to come home to ask for a divorce in person was expecting too much of Uchiha Sasuke.

On the anniversary that marked three years since her life had taken its latest big turn, Sakura took her daughter to the training grounds to show her the chakra exercise she had promised. It seemed a perfect way to celebrate, preparing her daughter for the future and giving no thoughts to the past. Since the day that Sakura had had her moment of revelation, her relationship with her daughter had been better than ever. They spent more time together as she passed on all number of skills to this precious child. Sarada was learning to cook like her, to throw a shuriken like her, to heal wounds like her, and could hardly wait to punch straight through trees like her. No matter how busy her life got Sakura never forgot to take the time for her daughter.

She also forced herself to take the time to just be. Once every couple of weeks she met up with her friends for ramen or a few drinks. Ino stopped by for lunch sometimes to tell her all the latest gossip that a head of the Interrogation department was privy to. Choji swapped recipes with her whenever they met up at one of Naruto’s spontaneous gatherings. Shino gave her teaching tips that had worked on his own kids in the academy.

Even at work it was a whole new world. Sakura put more effort in to some old half-formed dreams and finally opened a children’s clinic which she helped run three days a week. As the Head of Medical Staff at the hospital she was hardly expected to run grunt work anymore and was able to delegate much of her duties to make room for other things. Not that she neglected the hospital by any means. Sakura was a medic, through and through, and she adored the work she did there.

So many things had changed because of one small moment and she could hardly believe it. It felt incredible. It felt like living again.

As she went through the chakra exercise with Sarada one more time, demonstrating it again so the young girl could use her as an example, Sakura finally became aware of the approaching chakra signature. She was grinning when she turned around, the expression only widening when Sarada slipped by her with a happy shriek to tackle Kakashi in a flying hug. The Rokudaime caught his little Princess and swung her around in a circle.

“What’s a couple of pretty things like you two doing in a drab training ground like this?” Kakashi asked, directing a wink over at Sakura. Sarada punched him on the arm and he staggered sideways dramatically.

“Mama’s teaching me how to hold chakra in my arm so I can punch people better!”

“Oh dear!” Kakashi held both hands up to his face. “Should I be worried?”

“Absolutely,” Sakura laughed.

“So mean to your respected village leader!”

“Hm. Respected but not all that respectable.”

Kakashi clutched his chest in betrayal, not fooling either of them. They could both see the crinkles around his eyes as he smiled. Sarada gave him another swat before trundling away to take up her practice again. He observed for a few moments with a quiet pride before settling himself beside Sakura and bumped their shoulders together.

“How are you holding up?” he asked. She leaned her head against his arm and gave a content sigh.

“Really well.” She didn’t need to ask to know what he was referring to. “I don’t think that I wanted to admit to myself that I hadn’t been in love with Sasuke in a long time. He was my dream, my happily ever after, and if I let go of that I didn’t know what else I had. Now I can see how blind I was being; I have Sarada, I have friends – I have you. I don’t need Sasuke. Don’t even want him.”

“You don’t miss him?”

“I miss…the security of him, I suppose. But no, not him. It took me long enough but I can see now how right you were. There are lots of people in my life who see me and lots of people who love me. I’m grateful for what I have.”

“I see you.”

Kakashi’s voice was but a whisper and that, more than anything, caught Sakura’s attention. Lifting her head, she looked him in the eyes with a curious sound. Even stranger, she found him looking back with an almost hesitant expression.

It felt as though the world were rocking on its axis as Kakashi reached up and slowly pulled down the mask which had covered his face since the day they first met. He was handsome, although she would have guessed that based on the rest of him. And then the world stopped spinning and fell, fell, fell through the fabric of reality as he leaned down and pressed their lips together in a soft, perfect kiss. He lingered, but only for a moment. Then he was pulling away and they were staring at each other, both with wide frightened eyes.

“Forgive me,” he murmured. “I couldn’t stand the thought of another man having your first kiss. I know there’s little chance of you feeling the same but if you would do me the honor of a dinner sometime–”

Sakura cut him off as she pressed their lips together again, taking what she could even with no idea what she was doing. How could she not have seen this? The fog had lifted and still she had been blind to what was right there in front of her. It baffled her how she could have not known how in love they were but she could see it now. He could see her and finally she saw him too.

“I’m glad it was you,” she told him when they pulled apart again. “I don’t ever want to kiss another.”

“Oh.” Although he sounded a little broadsided, he definitely didn’t sound unhappy with her answer. “I think I can arrange that.”

“Thank you, Kakashi. For being there for me. And for her. You’ve been so good to us and I don’t know that I could ever tell you how much that means to me. Just…thank you.” She offered him a tremulous smile and Kakashi gave her one back, the first true smile she had ever seen on his face. It was unsteady and so, so beautiful.

Before he could find a way to reply to such heartfelt words, they were interrupted by a tug on Sakura’s sleeve. When they peered down Sarada was standing there, hands behind her back and mischievous grin upon her lips.

“Does this mean I can call him Kaka-Tōsan now?”

It was hard to tell who was blushing the darkest, Kakashi or Sakura. Neither of them minded though because it was also hard to tell who was laughing the brightest.


End file.
